Imisssyou. :( Everyday. It’s killing me that we’re like this. There’s something wrong, something I can’t point out. I know each one of you got problems and I wanna be there for you. But it feels like there’s this big wall between us. I don’t know how to break it. What happened to us? I fucking miss you. Everytime I admit this to myself, I cry. So I’ll stop here. 

P.S. I really wish you miss me too. :(

And I can’t help but be one. I keep distance ‘coz I’m tired of saying sorry. I’m tired of saying I’ll make it up to people. I never do, I can’t. So, I just walk away. 

But now, I’m losing my persons. It’s okay, they’re better off without me. I’m just a pain in the ass. I need to fix myself first.  

I don’t. Trust me. I can go home by myself, I can push away my own unwanted people, I can be mean to rude people, I can speak for myself, I can clean up my own mess, I can sit up, I can walk straight, I can carry my own bag, I can answer my own phone, I know where I left it and I can remember all my shit without being reminded. I can. Seriously.

I don’t need saving. I have to tell myself that over and over again. I’m tired of being me. I’m getting tired for people who think they need to take care of me all the time. If I myself is getting tired of myself, how much more are these good people? I hate myself for being so needy. 

it’s nice to know that i’m not the only one feeling this way. this is new for me. everyone was always there for everybody. now, there’s guilt, assurance, lies and awkwardness. it’s nice to know i’m not alone. i missed you :)